k o s m o k r a t o r

i need a root, right now. i'm not kidding.

a letter was waiting for me in the mail box this morning from a company i had applied for a job with. it told me they were plkeased to say i was one of several selected for an interview and would i please come to their office at 9-00am Tuesday 23rd March 2010. Ummm what? *checks date of letter* 11th March 2010. whaaaattt!! fuccccckkkk i‘ve missed the interview.
i decide to ring them up to apologise and explain that i’ve only just got the letter today. and could i re-shedule the appointment. as i'm ringing them, i notice the postmark on the envelpoe. it's dated yesterday the 22nd march. wtf??

upon talking to the office manager, she remarks 'i wondered why no one turned up today.'
ummm maybe if you posted letters immedaitely after they were written then people may just be able to get there in time? just a suggestion.
anyway, appointment re-scheduled. now i just need a haircut.

contrary to what the television weather boys and girls have been saying lately, it's bloody great weather. still hot and sunny, but a bit windy. why can't they get things right? first they say there's deadly cold winds and gales and rain coming and will be here in 2 hours. three days later i'm still waiting.

the great thing about the internet is ...
… choice.

there are so many people with so many different views and so many different ways of sharing their thoughts. and if you like what they say, you are free to read it and disseminate it and if you don’t like it, you’re free to say so. or free to not read it.

that’s why the internet will always from now, be a better place for information, than a school library, or a teacher or your parents. and that is a shame. as well as a boon.

i embrace the internet for information because in my childhood, as well as doing normal childhood things, i read. i read books. i read dictionaries. i read pamphlets. i read the backs of food packaging. i read everything i could hold in my hand and it instilled a belief in me to never ever 100% totally trust everything you read. which is why i never stopped reading because one day someone somewhere will write down the perfect phrase the perfect sentence the perfect article the perfect book and i will be holding it in my hand, and marvelling at it’perfection.
but finding that perfect book is like finding the perfect diamond or the perfect slice of chocolate cake or the perfect life partner. you have to wade through shit first to get there. but that’s ok, because that shit is also information to be read and evaluated against what you know and believe.

so when your school library take the dictionary away from you because the parent of a child whom you have never seen reading a book complains about a word in it, stand up and say, stand up and shout, ‘hey, i was READING that!!’
let them explain why you can’t read a book any more. look them in the eye and listen to their excuse and show them that there are words in that dictionary that apply to them. words starting with ‘f’ for fascist. ‘i’ for ignorant. ‘u’ for ungebildet.
take back that dictionary, take back that book and read aloud from it. and if they push you down and take away even more books, take your computer and read online, and if they take that away from you like the goverments of libya and north korea and china and australia take away that right from you, then stand up and read from your memory. make words your fists. make sentences your arguement.
make them listen.
don’t stand idly by and go quietly into the night. don’t let the ignorance of others make your decisions for you.


ages ago i had an arguement with a friend in the united states about government. he said the u.s. was a democracy. i said it was a republic. he said same thing. i said a republic means that you elect people to make the decisions for you, not that you get to make the decisions as well.


i’m feeling a bit stroppy tonight. sorry.




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so i took simon to the airport this afternoon. he's going back to auckland for a family wedding and to pick up the puppy. it‘ll be amazing to once again have a dog around the house. mmm cuddles and licks.
but what i really wanted to say was it took 21 minutes to drive from home right the way through the city and all the way out to the airport where i dropped him off. it then took 17 minutes to drive the 450 metres from the airport entrance to the main road. oh my god it was horrendous. naturally i took pains to calm my inner self while crawling along the road until i discovered the cause of the delay.
if you are unable to keep your vehicle in your own clearly marked lane, then i ask that you forgo the right and privilege of holding a drivers licence as you patently have no understanding of the rode code.
(test yourself about the new zealand rode code here)


so now that i have the house to myself for four days, i shall thoroughly degrease and clean the kitchen roof walls and surfaces. i’ve since discovered that a dirty filter in the exhaust system is not effective in removing steam and grease from the air. and then i shall bake like i‘ve never baked before. there shall be cake and loaves and gorgeous wee nibbly desserty yummy things. i need the butter and sugar. i’ve kept my body starved of bad things for too long. the sugar rush shall be delerious.

so i did. and it and he were lovely.

i bought some venison shanks the other day so i could cook them for dinner tonight. i thought about roasting them, but as i have not used my slow cooker in three years, i got it out and decided to cook the venison in red wine and venison stock i made a few months ago.
i have not had a more delicious meal in a very long time.

then i decided to watch american idol voting episode, as per the ad on the tvnz web site that said 7-30pm. imagine my displeasure as tuning in to find that very annoying, yet award winning, phil keogan and the amazing race. i did have a fair few moments of interal giggles at the total ineptness of the midget guys and did find the deaf man very engaging, but the bourne tripatate beckoned and i watched all three.

i then returned to the tv and watched the movie below.



i had never heard of it before and it took me a few moments to get into the flow of it, but i soon found the story to be fascinating and intuitive and original and told in a gentle and respectful way. i was glad however, that my mental illness enabled me to guess the ending successfully. it's left me with a good warm feeling as i go to bed, even though there were deaths and suicides and tradegy in the film.

am watching frankenstein on tv. silly scientist.

cricket tomorrow for the last time this season. tempted not to go as i'm very tired, and lacking enthusiasm even for the beers afterwards (and during) but after watching todays efforts (new zealand vs australia) and the excitement it produced i'm probably going to go out. and especially if it's going to be as hot as it was today.

i read today, a intellectual synopsis, or more correctly, a dissection, of chitty chitty bang bang by ian fleming (yes, that ian fleming). it's been many years since i saw the movie version, having never read the book, but i'm glad i only read this now instead of when i was a child.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is an extended dream sequence as the child leads slip from life into death, much in the same vein as the Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge.

Very early in the movie, the children, Jeremy and Jemima, are nearly struck by a car driven by Truly Scrumptious, or so we are led to believe. I am certain that the children actually were struck by that car and killed, but before falling into death’s cold embrace, their addled minds produced a rich fantasy. A similar story structure can be found in 2001’s Waking Life. Waking Life has its main protagonist wandering through a series of events and experiences in what appears to be a lucid dreaming state, with little regard for making clear what may be real or not. Similarly, an extended fantasy sequence occurs beginning halfway through Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. This sequence apparently has real-world implications; it is not until 15 minutes before the end of the film that we are certain those events did not happen.

This is also supported by the way Time loops and whorls in on itself as various events and motifs are constantly repeated. This is indicative of the human mind seeking out patterns in an attempt to make sense of what is happening. Specifically, the motif of nearly being hit by a car or an accident involving Truly’s car happens at least three times after the initial impact. The young children are revisting that final moment, as if to glean greater meaning from it, or to remind themselves that they are, in fact, dead.

All adult characters act in a persistently childish manner; a Baron enjoys his large toys, Grandfather and Lord Scrumptious are caught playing an intrictae game of toy soldiers. This further evidences that everything is a complete creation of a child’s mind applying their logic and actions to the world.

It may be noted that, yes, there are two children, so how can there be only one extended death sequence? Well, there is the popular, though as of yet unsubstantiated theory, that twins can share a telepathic link. The same aged, both blonde-haired boy and girl are almost certainly twins. And throughout the movie they make various spontaneous exclamations at the exact same time with the exact same wording, suggesting some kind of group mind.

And finally, and perhaps most daming of all, is the role that Truly Scrumptious takes on as the Three-in-One, or Mother-Maiden-Crone, the Jungian Triple Goddess. As the Bringer of Death by Motorcar, the children attach meaning to her and seek her out as a Mother Figure. For much of the film she wears all white, signifying maidenhood; the children then proclaim their fondness for Truly and their wish that she become their mother. Truly then begins wearing pink, signifying that she is no longer pure for having known man, fulfilling her role as the Mother.

In the end, the car, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which has become a familar representing the children, levitates into the air and flies off towards the heavens. The children have finally accepted their reality and move on to what dreams may come.


now i'm watching faye dunaway, william holden, o.j. simpson, steve mcqueen, paul newman and fred astaire.

one thing most of you wont have known about is my design aspirations and dare i say it, skills. they have been on a recent hiatus and i‘ve decided to try and get the rust a debridment and upgrade my skills a bit. to that end, i’m going all out writing code and developing a very nifty collage of php, ajax and mootools scripts and programmes.

if anyone wants to do some testing for me once all the components are together, that would be great.

The fall of our footsteps ringeth too hollow through their streets. And just as at night, when they are in bed and hear a man abroad long before sunrise, so they ask themselves concerning us: Where goeth the thief? Go not to men, but stay in the forest! Go rather to the animals! Why not be like me- a bear amongst bears, a bird amongst birds?“

”And what doeth the saint in the forest?“ asked Zarathustra.

The saint answered: ”I make hymns and sing them; and in making hymns I laugh and weep and mumble: thus do I praise God. With singing, weeping, laughing, and mumbling do I praise the God who is my God."




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EDIT: i‘ve just realisd the email form wasn’t working as i'd made some changes earlier, but it's fine and dandy now.

the weather has started to turn a bit cooler after several weeks of nice hot weather and i'm really liking it. as you know i don't often sleep particularly well, but the hot weather makes it almost impossible to sleep. window open lets in the moths, and a fan makes a noise. so the cooler temperatures are welcome.

the tsunami yesterday where the head of the harbour receeded and left yachts and boats stranded on the ocean floor and then rose to flood property , reminded me of the danger the world faces from unseen forces and the helplessness that ensues. we worry about global warming and water restrictions and drought and flooding but it's more than likely that an earthquake or tsunami or a volcanic eruption will do us in. especially living here in new zealand. there are three major fault lines and hydrothermal areas within 150 km from my place, and two volcanoes right on my door step. and yet we completely ignore them. until they start to move, and of course by then, it's too late. i guess if we're going to go, then i suppose going by way of hot volcanic ash or pyroclastic gases or gaping chasms opening up in front of us is acceptable.


lunch tomorrow with mum. another exciting afternoon of follow up questions after saturday night.



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