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12 January 2009
The Last Ten Polls on my Blog
what should the new design of my blog be like?
no change - it's already fabulous
i‘ll get my kid brother to do it for you because you’re crap
words, words, words. nothing but words
chockerblock full of all your crap with some extra shit thrown in for good measure
just little bits of crap with mostly stuff about you
oh, stop fu*king asking us and just do what you think looks good
-- poll results --
what do you want more of from me?
speedo pics
to hear i‘ve fallen in love
more lighthearted posts like you used to do years ago
to see me stand up for myself more
video/audio posts
-- poll results --
does violence ever solve anything?
gwb and dad think so. those pesky wmd in iraq proved it’s necessity
that hitler fella needed a good hiding. shame it took so long though
there's always always always one prick who wont shut the fu*k up in the office
elder brothers
teenage sisters
bullies. no time for them. no need to hold back either. just go for it
-- poll results --
have you ever
thrust your arm up underneath someones throat and knocked them against the wall to make your point?
impersonated someone of the opposite sex? (because you had to, not for fun or a job)
begged on the streets for money or prostituted yourself?
stolen from your employer?
wished you were dead, but in a horiffic workplace accident with blood kind of way so your boss gets in the shit?
let members of the general public see you naked?
all of the above?
-- poll results --
who would you turn straight for?
nigella lawson
-- poll results --
men from which nationality are sexiest?
australia
italy
israel
fiji
england
new zealand
spain
-- poll results --
when you‘re going to kill yourself, is it fair to give clues or tell someone beforehand?
no - let someone find you unexpectedly
no - because they’ll never do anything anyway
yes - so you can say 'i told you i would' in the note
yes - because you feel inferior enough as it is and having them try and talk you out of it will just re-inforce all the psychological problems you already suffer from
who cares - just do it and stop moaning about it
-- poll results --
which statement about me is MOST likely to be true?
Option
Votes
%
on average i buy three books a week
8
19.5
on average i drive over 1000km a week
2
4.9
on average i go to the movies twice a week
0
0
on average i have two panic attacks a week
9
22
on average i have less than 12 wanks a week
22
53.7
Total votes: 41
!++41++!
!++40++!
click ‘read more’ to see older polls >>>
do you hate your job?
job? what job?
i am ambivalent about the whole employment thing
it's actually quite enjoyable
meh
first chance i get, i'm out of there
the phrase disgruntled postal worker with semi-automatic weapons springs to mind
-- poll results --
what's biggest lie in the world?
me - “no, those pants don't make you look fat”
you - “i promise i wont cum in your mouth”
catholic priest - “i promise i wont cum in your arse”
bill clinton - “hillary really is an excellent lay”
tony blair - “i am committed 150% to peace in the middle east”
-- poll results --
your worst valentines gift would be ...
half a box of chocolates, from your lover
full box of chocolates, from your ex
a vapid hallmark card expressing love in all it's mystery, from your boss
fluffy toy, with one ear a bit wet and chewed, from a secret admirer
flowers, of any description, from anybody
anything at all, from your mother
-- poll results --
if you love someone, and they‘re hurting inside, but can’t be there physically for them, what's the best way to help them?
do nothing, let them help themselves
offer your shoulder, to cry on presumably
talk it through, a problem shared is a problem solved afterall
listen, and don't pass judgements
be your usual self, make believe everything is fine
move on in, get them naked while they‘re vulnerable
the first 5 options, while hoping for #6
-- poll results --
do you hate your job?
job? what job?
i am ambivalent about the whole employment thing
it’s actually quite enjoyable
meh
first chance i get, i'm out of there
the phrase disgruntled postal worker with semi-automatic weapons springs to mind
-- poll results --
what's biggest lie in the world?
me - “no, those pants don't make you look fat”
you - “i promise i wont cum in your mouth”
catholic priest - “i promise i wont cum in your arse”
bill clinton - “hillary really is an excellent lay”
tony blair - “i am committed 150% to peace in the middle east”
-- poll results --
would you ever sell a christmas present?
if i had a duplicate, yes.
only if it was totally horribly crap
never never never
if i needed the money
-- poll results --
which historical person do you most admire/want to emulate/think is a hottie
Gaiseric (The Vandal)
Leonardo da Vinci (The Smart Arse Inventor)
Louis XIV (The Sunny French King)
William Wallace (The Angry Sco
tsm
an)
George Gordon Noel, Baron Byron (The Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know Poet)
Francisco Goya (The Beautifully Complectioned Spanish Painter)
-- poll results --
what could a boy ask for to make his life complete?
a good education and an excellent vocabulary
a nice clean house with a big garden
a well paying job with advancement prospects
a boy to lay next to in the mornings and to kiss goodnight
a supportive family and an interesting circle of friends
-- poll results --
what's more overrated?
“pretty' weather girls
hilary clinton - fu*k it. all american politicians
being pc at work and in public
designer water bottles
the whole britney/lindsay/nicole/paris media whore thing
-- poll results --
is the whole puppy/toes/feet/tongue/teeth thing all a bit ...
moderately pervy
totally sexy
slightly disturbing
genuinely ”oh my fu*king god you let a dog do that to you?"
seriously unhygenic
-- poll results --
which group are sexier than rugby players ...
body builders
swimmers/divers
male nurses/librarians
school teachers
your best mates dad
none
-- poll results --
does my blog need ...
more pictures
more pictures of me
less angst
more drama
more about me and less about
giant
s
less about me and more about puppies
politics, sex and religion
rugby, racing and beer
nekkid photos of hot boys (18+)
more interactive toys to play with
just fu*king tell us what you did today and stop conducting stupid polls
-- poll results --
your committed and hitherto faithful partner of 7 years admitted to you that he slept with another bloke in the first month of you two going out but before you were a ‘couple’. do you ...
kill the cheating fu*ker now
kill the little shit who dared touch your man
have a total hissy fit and make him sleep on the bathroom floor
say ‘these things happen’ and get over it
meh
-- poll results --
your committed and hitherto faithful partner of 7 years admitted to you that he slept with another bloke in the first month of you two going out but before you were a ‘couple’. do you ...
kill the cheating fu*ker now
kill the little shit who dared touch your man
have a total hissy fit and make him sleep on the bathroom floor
say ‘these things happen’ and get over it
meh
-- poll results --
if there was one thing in the world that i required to make me live (and i mean really make me stay alive) but i had to kill someone for it, whom should i kill?
girl
giant
mum
my high school headmaster
britney spears skank whore fatty
no one, you should die yourself because killing is bad
-- poll results --
am i some sort of c*nt?
of the highest magnitude
oh yes indeed
yes
no
of course not
-- poll results --
shall your coming year be ...
perfectly hideous
extremely gorgeous
plainly obvious
gastronomically envious
violently erroneous
-- poll results --
how did you first find my blog?
kosmo you dummy, you told me the url!
the monkey does all the typing around here
was looking for underpants videos on google
someone i slept with once told me about you
it was on a friends list of boys he wants to know (sleep with) better
through my(we‘re fixing that bug)space
-- poll results --
what’s topping the list so far this year?
number of people no longer talking to you
number of people no longer shagging you
number of parents left alive
number of boy/girl friends you‘ve had
trips to the sexual health clinic
periodic mind spazz attacks
-- poll results --
what is your favourite/most oft used swear word?
bugger
bloody hell
fu*k
c*nt
shit
fu*king c*nty c*nt c*nt shit fu*k
-- poll results --
are you a .....
crotch watcher
bicep feeler
pec toucher
smile lookerer
arse admirer
too scared to look at boys
-- poll results --
what’s the most stress you‘ve ever had in your life?
not knowing if your mum found your jizz mags under your bed or not while you were away for a scout camp
not knowing if the scout leader wanted to come into your tent or not at the same scout camp
wondering precisely how you’re going to find money to buy food to eat
deciding if it was right or wrong to strangle the stray cat that keeps coming round
moving house all on your own
-- poll results --
should i put a music video or song on ....
every single entry baby!!
every couple of entries. no need to overcrowd things.
once a week seems fine to me.
no point in having them as i don't have broadband to listen to them.
do whatever you fu*king like and when you fu*king like.
-- poll results --
what's the worst thing that someone can do to you?
kill you
destroy your posessions
take away your dignity
despise you
make you feel inferior
-- poll results --
does jerking off eight times a day make your cock hurt?
only when i do it wrong
only when you do it wrong
cock? jerk? what?
your dad doesn't complain
i'm a good christian boy. i don't do that.
-- poll results --
while the cat's away ...
i‘ll drink all your booze
your flatmate will go through your undies draw sniffing as he goes
i’ll keep on phoning to see when you get back
the neighbours will jump for joy
dogs will find their way into the house because fkatmate forgot to lock the doors
-- poll results --
if the world was to end tomorrow, and you‘re on your own, would you rather ...
have a beautiful meal, wine, cigar and and a perfect sunset
call the first person who you fell in love with and tell them you’re sorry
re-connect with your estranged family
steal a really fast car, and crash it
check your email in case you miss one
pay the first person you see for sex
-- poll results --
how should i react?
cry my eyes out
be incredibly angry and plan revenge
be spiteful
forgive them
pretend it never happened at all and we‘re one big happy family again
-- poll results --
if there was one thing that showed you cared about someone, what would it be?
letting them decide who\’s on top
giving them the last/bigger scoop of ice cream
listening to them
holding their hand even when people can see
not taking sides with their mother even if the bitch is right
-- poll results --
which sports uniform looks best?
softball / baseball
that tennis guy phillopoupous playing any sport
american football
formula one driving suits
rugby
-- poll results --
are you glad ...
pope john paul II is in hell where he belongs?
tony blair is so good looking to cover up his bad premeirship?
the spice girls broke up?
cock gets hard when you play with it?
that you‘re not a jew because pork is just so damn tasty?
-- poll results --
Which is most true for you?
i’d rather play sport than have casual sex
i'm more likely to cheat at cards than lose to my partner
if i don't get sex right now i‘ll just die
those curtains just don’t go with the new rugs
george w bush is my hero
imelda marcos is my hero
-- poll results --
is sex on a first date important to you?
hell yes - i want it now baby
yes - i want to know if he's worth a second date
not really - i was only after a free meal
no - the boy friend at home doesn't like it when i fu*k around
hell no - i is a good christian boy. no sex before marriage
-- poll results --
if you had to send a photograph to a company for identification purposes, which type of photo would you send?
standard passport pic (looking like shit)
first photo you could find in your mothers album (looking like shit)
the one your neighbour (girl) keeps on her fridge (looking hot as all hell)
baby picture of you naked sprawled on a rug
recent picture of you naked sprawled on a rug
-- poll results --
i know life is hard. but what's the hardest thing you‘ve ever had to deal with?
coming out
not coming out
being straight
medical problems
financial problems
criminal problems
your aunty edna\’s cakes
-- poll results --
love. how should i find it?
wait wait wait for him to come to me
track him down and tell him what the story is
let someone else make the decision for me
love him from afar and never let him know
close my heart. it will only get cleft in twain
-- poll results --
should i redesign this web site?
yes - it's looking a bit old and tired
yes - i never liked it at all
yes - new things are good
no - it's pretty cool and funky as it is
no - it suits your personality perfectly
no - i don't care about how it looks
-- poll results --
what's the best age to settle down with a life partner (presumably after you know he's the ‘one’)?
21
25
30
40
whenever it feels right
never
-- poll results --
What's the most amount of sand you‘ve ever filled up your speedos with?
me on a beach? are you kidding?
12 grains, but they were overlooked in the shower
4 bucket loads. i like em nice and full
is this a real question?
-- poll results --
do you know what ’kosmokrator' means?
duh!! i'm not that stupid
yes. doesn't everyone
no. i thought he made up a word
who? what?
-- poll results --
posted on 12/01
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